the RISE in morning

The first ray strikes the earth,
Celebrating a new day’s birth,
Sleeping on your soft berth,
Energy is in great dearth.

But you need to wake up,
From sleep need to break up,
I know how angry you feel,
When somebody shakes you up.

You wanna cry go away,
This sleep I have earned,
By challenging and winning,
Over yesterday’s hard burden.

But as you come to senses,
Sees the fall of your defenses,
Make some hard acceptensies,
And your new day commences.

You rise, you wake up,
Be wise, make the breakup,
It many times is difficult,
You wanna weep,
But, hold on and rise to earn,
Today’s night sleep.

My mother’s death

I still remember the day,
The weather was nice,
I think it was Sunday,
A lazy day to spend on a vise.

A child of eighth standard,
Enjoying his chocolate milk,
Without much worry of the world,
Life as smooth as cloth of silk.

But ,alas,
all good things ends,
The absolute law,
Fate’s general trends.

This lesson,
The child was about to learn,
His life was going to take,
A hard and dramatic turn.

His mother starts coughing,
She a patient of Asthma,
Felt problem in breathing.
Child still not worried,
As, father was with mother,
He will take care of everything,

But, papa can do so much,
Sometimes, it takes more than,
A dear’s love magic touch,
Not a would, healed by a kiss,
Mother’s lung needs a crutch,
A machine to filter oxygen,
His mother need much.

But ,alas,
Even machines are no match,
To almighty ‘Yama’, god of death.
The child now realises the situation,
Rush to his mother’s side,
First time felt real desparation.

Entire family was in the room,
Not for dinner, just gloom,
Papa constantly checking heart beat,
As high as that of an athlete.

That sounds like a compliment,
But mother is thin and weak,
Sign of fate’s dreadful intent,
Like a slaughter house’s reek.

She complains of great restlessness,
Child feel something foul has commence,
Her body starts getting cold,
Child looks desparatly to father,
For sign of some hope,
Got an equally desparate look rather.

With nothing to do ,
He start rubbing her feat.
Against lord Yama,
He refused to accept defeat.

What a child can do,
Mother grew unconscious,
She spoke quickly to him,
Don’t cry little mister,
I will be alright, if you promise,
Never to fight your sister.

Before child can take the vow,
Mother grew unconscious,
No way now, to let mother know,
As these words will be remembered,
As last of her voice heard.

Heartbeat declined rapidly,
Child grew anxious by the moment,
Cusred himself for being lazy,
In first aid class of CPR remitence.

She grew pailer by the moment,
Then the siren sounds,
Ambulance took his mother,
Away from all bounds,
Never to return to him,
Across umcimbable mounds.

What can a child do,
Has no control over death.
Except one thing,
Wish of her last breath.

So, I look to the sky,
And made this resolve,
Never ever to shy,
From hard work, even absolve,
To protect my sister from every cry,
I will be strong and brave,
This will be my good bye.

My experience of Ilemoscopy test

      OK, this is Piyush Gupta. Today is my Ilemoscopy(small intestine). It is a test to look inside small intestine.
      A robotic tube attached with a camera in front of insert into anus and travels over the intestines.(in endoscopy)
    In my case it will be entered from stoma. I have lost my large intestine to a dangerous infection. My large intestine has to be removed to save me. Stoma ,the last part of intestine, was taken out from a hole near my waist and a bag of attached (challestomi bag) to collect stool. I have to empty the bag when it bet filled.(usually in 5-6) hours.
     Sounds freaky(but I found out cool.) .
Many people that have to take such tests may get afraid. But don’t worry it is not that strange and not at all difficult.

      I am writing this article to give confidence to such people because I have home through the same feelings. This is a live report of my experience.
     For perforations I need to drink a liquidliquid to clean my system (can’t remember this name now)
    Let’s begin

5:47 am: I have to start drinking the liquid at 6 am. I have done this before but looking at 2 liters waters that I need to drink in 2hrs still gives a nausea feeling.
     Click if ticking ,timers are ready. I will drink 200 ml at 6 and repeat after every 10 minutes.
      Papa had preparing the liquid. Pouring powder in water so that no contents are left behind. Mixing it properly. That motion is soothing to see.
      I am rocking my chair for passing time. Feeling a little conscious that someone will read this.

5:58 : It is almost time. Sitting in my room with the liquid in a cointainer.

6:00 : Have the first drink. Poured 200 ml with a help of a jug. Drank it in 3-4 gulps.
    Papa is scolding that I have to drink it in a sip-sip style. Don’t know how does it matter. Papa brings the paper showing the right way to drink. It is so frustrating.
     I have this blog to write. Hence, there is hope my nails will survive this waiting. (Childhood habit).
    There was voice like water entering drainage from the stoma. May be it is starting to work.
6 :10 : 2nd drink. I drank in a sip sip style (almost). Papa is explaining with his usual love after a usual burst of irritation. He is going to have bath.
      So, I have to take the drink myself. He is instructing to increase the gap between drinks from 10 to 12 mins. So, next drink of die on 6:22.
      Thinking why am not playing some game to pass time rather then this. I have to finfish what I started.
May be check WhatsApp for aatleast.

6:20 :sent the daily motherhood message to my Bhabhi. This feels good. Keeping her motivated(even if she have many other sources). Please give a short prayer for good life of her child.(my bhanja).
Time for next drink.

6:22 : I took the drink. Stirred properly and poured 200 ml in glass and sip sip it.
    Papa have come back. Don’t know why. I hide the blog from his view. I can’t let him see it now.
    He is asking if stoma bag is filled. I should also keep in mind that because out will fill 3- 4 times atleast.
    Papa is emptying my stoma bag. He will not let me empty myself atleast not now.
     Papa doing such work may never feel good. But such love and care feel really good.

6:34 : Took the next drink. Stirred out work a jug only.(not work the big spoon) that led to another face of between papa and me. this is life. 
    Bua come and asked to brush and bath. I will have to do it afterwards .
It is hot and humid after four days of rain. May be I should switch on ac.
      The flap of stoma bag comes out on filling. It is almost filled again.
      The bathroom is closed and the English toilet with it. I have never tried to empty in Hindi toilet. I can’t imagine how. So I called Didda (elder sister). She emptied it. Itis kinda embarrassing but this is life.
   The stoma was almost clear yellowish water now.
6:50 : I am a little late for this drink so I again reduce gap to 10 min. Didda reached and made a drink before I can. Though spilled some liquid in her haste. Now who has ‘ladko wale kaam’. (Phrase between us for inability to do a work properly).
     Feeling a little happy now. Didda always spreads happiness around her.
7:00 Took the next drink. Went to urinate. I prefer Hindi toilet for it.
     The liquid has reduced to lead than half. You can tell by looking at it.
    Didda came to check the bag and demanded me to lie down even if it was only half filled. She emptied the bag and went away. I really have the best family. Papa has returned just now. He checked the liquid in his undergarments .
     Didda came to ask him if he wants breakfast. He showed his concern on his face that I can’t eat till the test is over. I love him so much.
7 : 11: Took next drink.1 minute late.
Stomach of feeling really full. But I need to drink 3-4 glasses more. .
    Papa is looking for something in his almari (cubbard)  humming a soothing melody of his times.
     Life feels like liveable. My life is not so boring. Stoma bag is half filled again. Water in it is making it a lot heavy than usuhad filled .
7: 20 : Took the next drink. Poured a little less than 200ml. Feels like 3 more drinks will finish it. 
     Roaming a little around the house to quench this ‘ full stomach’ feeling. A.      feels good.

a bag had filled again. Now Didda of in bathroom. Has to call papa

. He came leaving his breakfast. I pray God one day I am able to return his some of the favor. I really want to be self dependent. I vow to be one in every way to be with my father in front line.
     There is only clear water in the bag.
7: 30 : Gulped up another 200ml. There is no need of main cointainer now. The remaining liquid of completely transferred in the jug. It will soon be over.
     I think about leaving the test because stoma had yielded only clear water. But I am determined to complete the procedure.
     Alone in the room nothing interesting is happening. Just waiting for time of next drink.
     It is amazing how a minute can be so long sometimes.
7:40Took next drink. It will be only one more.
    Gazed upon the headline of the newspaprer. Govt is promoting manufacturing of health care devices locally. This will reduce cost of health care in private sector. My operation have took almost 22 lakh rupees. Though my papa is civil servant , this is the headache of CGHS. But still it will be a boon for millions like us who are not so lucky .
    Papa emptied stoma bag. I do not care to look at the color .
7:50 : I have thought it will be over after this drink. But half a glass still remains. Papa asked me what to bring. I selected coconut water and limca. It is the only good I can intake before the test.
    Don’t think I am hungry. For odd the last thing I want to see now. My stomach would be a water balloon at this time.
8:00 : Finished it. Feeling a little dizzy. I can go to bath now. I will leave brushing the teeth today. Just not in mood. It may seem uncivilized. But there can be an exception for today.

11:46 : We have arrived at hospital. These private hospitals feel more like a shopping mall than a hospital .

12:06 : I am in the endoscopy
1:00  :  I am outside now. Don’t remember much what skill happens as I was knocked out with anesthesia.
1:30 : Eating mix veg sandwich after half an hour of test. Feels delicious now.
   Time to go home.
  Hope the report will be all right. I know this was not so interesting to read. But it may release the fear of someone who is going for first time for such tests.
    These tests are a miracle of medical sciences. Before these a full fledged surgery is the only way to look inside your intestines.
    These years are not so rare as you think of them. I have met tens of people who have taken these tests and are now as healthy as a horse.
    So if you have such disease and needed to go such tests you doing at all need to be afraid.
    All d best .